Tips to feeding your mental meter

"Don't block your exits." - LT        All photography by the talented Fiona Montagne

What does busy even mean anymore?! I've said that word so many times that it has completely lost its meaning and mojo. Busy had become this filler word that fed my unproductive behaviors. I had to develop systems that forced me to rescue my sanity and gain REAL productivity. A few months back I logged the number of times I deviated from a project to check FB, IG, get a snack, drink some water, check the fridge, text my sister a random meme, check the fridge again and it was an obscene amount of time wasted. It was cra!!! I noticed losing control over my time lead me to unwanted and non-productive stress. So I've developed a few strategies that have helped me to calm my mind and take back some of my precious time and I hope it can help you do the same. Side note- this is all a practice and some days I slay it and some, not so much. Give yourself the space to know that you are trying. 

I write it ALL down

For me writing is important. You're probably saying that's what my notes, apps or whatever system you have developed to track your "to do's" is for. If it works for you, keep it going! If it doesn't give this a try. The act of writing down all the things I have to do helps me to see what needs to be set in the correct category. I have 3: High priority ( this includes my work, project deadlines, bill pay, Maddie cakes, hubby, family and friends); Create- these are upcoming projects that are further out, networking, reading, learning; This and that stuff- these are everyday life things that we have to get done- grocery shop, dry cleaning, clean house, laundry, etc. I then schedule each category item on my phone and paper calendar. It's not about trying to get everything done. It's about clearing your mental space so that you can focus on the meat and potatoes of your day. 

Put the phone down

It might be one of the hardest things you have to do but oh my peas and carrots it will blow your mind!!!! What it does. You will find yourself actually listening fully, engaging and one of the biggest gifts, being PRESENT. The act of being present in your life allows you to savor moments in a way that helps us become our best self. Listening to my stepdaughter's 15-minute explanation of what sparks her interest in the show Stranger Things allowed me to also get the peppered information about her standing up to a friend for making a sexist remark. Tomorrow wants you but the "right now" really needs you. 

I kicked "finding balance" to da curb

I thought that through sheer persistence that I would reach this space called "balance" where my "to-do's" somehow became perfectly aligned. I've noticed that this is something that doesn't exist for me and that's ok. This process is not about diminishing effort and trying. It's about embracing that today I will work on doing my damn best to take care of what is most important and tomorrow will be another day. Feeling less about your efforts because we are trying to accomplish more for the sake of "balance" strips us from the good work we are putting in. Today is yours. Go *all in* on what you can today and tomorrow will be another day. 

denim jacket- Derek Lam        dress- Target       boots- Tamaris

It's 2018. Know your worth

Photography: Fiona Montagne 

We are sometimes made to to feel that if we wait long enough somewhere along this journey we’ll find someone or something to make us feel worthy. That the creation of our worth is outside of OUR control. I will say that nothing has taught me more about defining my own sense of value and worth than realizing that it is enough to show up just as I am. We short change ourselves by believing that when we "fill in the blank", then we'll deserve that love, admiration, respect. That only then, we will be worthy. I see worthiness as a declaration of self ownership. It's the vital space you give yourself to believe that even in the most trying moments, you matter.  I'm sharing below what has helped me to write my own narrative of self worth. It's a process that unfolds each day, it's a practice. 

WORDS MATTER, ESPECIALLY THE ONES YOU SAY TO YOURSELF

We've all done it. Whether it's alone in our bedroom, to a friend, a stranger or a passing thought as you glance in a mirror. The use of dismantling words that we say to ourselves or those that we've absorbed from others is destructive. So I want you to stop it!!! (Said in my sass filled Mama tone). You are in the process of creating your best self and that major dinosaur size step starts with the language you use towards yourself. Be kind, respectful and allow yourself the room to love yourself no matter what. 

YOUR TRIBE MATTERS

It's simple. The company you keep should reinforce your worth ( You're amazing!); Motivate you to grow and be challenged ( Get it and you got this!!); Call you out on your bullshit ( Get it together); know when to drop it low and have fun ( Insert dance groove here). Ok the last one isn't necessary but it's certainly recommended ;) Every person that comes into your life adds an element to who you are or what you're becoming. I remember making exhausting efforts to alter what I thought others wanted me to be. It happens. I learned. Now the influence and its effect occurs on my own terms. 

 SHOW OTHERS THAT THEY ARE WORTHY

A kind word or action can have this transformative experience. No matter the size, it can impact how someone is feeling that day, that moment. I don't take for granted what others might be going through. This is what makes our co existing together so powerful. It grants us the permission to affect each other in the most positive way. 

So I'm saying to you that you are wonderful, necessary and full of worth. Go share this with someone else. 

coat: Theory  turtleneck: JCrew  Shoes: Gucci

Conversation: Be Yourself

“The moment you accept responsibility for EVERYTHING in your life is the moment you tap into your power to change ANYTHING in your life” Hal Elrod

I don't really know when it happens. That moment you get in good with who you are and stop the hater talk. For me it's a gradual process that unfolds when you start DOING stuff aka living your life. This means showing up for all the parts of life that comes your way, especially the really hard and challenging shit. I've learned the most about myself by diving into things that really scared me. It reveals these characteristics about who you are and piece by piece, through your experiences, you build a foundation that's all YOU. It's a on going, fo' life journey. Which I might add is pretty cool. You will always have the opportunity to learn something new about who you are and what you choose to become.

It's easy to get sucked into what you think everyone wants you to be. Your gesture of figuring out YOU can be a loud statement or a small whisper. Either way, do it on your own terms.  Stop trying to figure out who you are by standing still. Start walking, listening, trying and filtering shit that doesn’t fill whatever goodness you’re trying to create. Being yourself is showing up without the need to edit parts of who you are. You are creating this WHOLE you and that means leaning in to the ebbs and flows of this big beautiful, chaotic, purpose driven thing called life. It wants all of you. I want ALL of you. 

Photography:  Ellen B Hansen

Why a "Sweater Dress" Will Change Your Outlook on Life

Nothing beats standing in the middle of 5th Ave, NYC vibing with the very talented J.Lee Photos

This little number is called a sweater dress. It's my new "bff", "cheerleader" and we are seriously dating ;) Sometimes you put on an outfit and it resonates with something deeper inside you. For me this sweater dress does just that. It just makes me feel good!! I'm not talking that "oh that's cute" good, I'm talking about that "hello, hot sauce lady" good ;)  Let me explain. It took me a long time to get to this point where I felt comfortable in my own skin. It's a process for most of us. I say, find the awesome parts that you LOVE and celebrate them like a mofo. 

This sweater dress is by Philanthropy and purchased from our local boutique Piece Unique in downtown Boise. The first time I slipped it on, I felt a little magic happen. Anything form fitting was always a challenge for me but I've worked through my mess of loving all of me and this dress slow clapped me to feeling pretty darn good about rocking a fitted dress. So what the hell do I want from you??? I want you to find that style that will be your cheerleader, feeling like a boss, happy to be you outfit. If it's this dress, babes you know where to get it! Whatever it is, grant yourself the permission to appreciate you and all your womanly glory. You've got great curves, let them shine; awesome legs, hello fabulous skirt; great arms, you might never wear anything with sleeves again. The point is, we can and should be at the forefront of celebrating ourselves first. 

"Beauty is self love wrapped in confidence and a side of sass" LT

You are so enough

This bag is from Mulberry Press Co, a wonderful lifestyle brand that's dedicated to delivering inspiration and positivity. What's not to love about that :)

Y O U   A R E   SO   ENOUGH

Words are so powerful. I remember my husband saying to me "babe, you've got this" when we were in the first stages of me diving into launching my personal styling company. His relentless support was the exclamation that I needed to take the chance and trust myself. It's love.

The phrase "you are so enough" resonates with me, especially in those moments where I felt I was not doing enough or I feared being inadequate. I believe as women we have these endless standards that are comprised to make us feel uncertain about our capabilities. However, what I've found is that the only barometer that matters is the one that you set for yourself. I'm constantly trying to figure out what I can do better with my business to best serve my clients. For me, it's been a whole lot of learning, researching, big time listening and allowing myself to be true to who I am. Along the way, I saw this merger of me working on being a better person contributed to me being a better business person. Trust me the process never ends and the learning is endless but I think that's a great thing. 

The eggs you surround yourself with matters in a BIG way so they better be good :) I have been blessed to meet some of the most intelligent, driven, passionate, kind humans who are at the top of their game in their careers. They have supported, inspired and encouraged me along the way. It's vital for me to know in my heart that I'm enough to do whatever it is that I want. However, it helps to have a village and that means surrounding myself with great eggs that are honest, kind, inspire and have some major integrity. 

You are so enough to be what you want and when you have moments when you don't feel enough, which we all do, just remember you are not doing this thing all by yourself. I've got your back.  

“You have worth, you have purpose and you are always more than enough in this life. When we love ourselves, we make room for others to love us and share our journey. Love is a powerful thing and it starts with loving everything you already are.”

— Sera, founder of Mulberry Press Co

Lessons learned from Mama #MamaKnowsBest

So let me explain my Mom to you just a bit. She is 5’4” maybe, on a good day, full of energy and doesn’t mind telling me what she thinks (with or without request). She’s my favorite person and she drives me crazy. It’s the most wonderful and maddening love ever :)

Growing up, my Mom was a bit of a hard ass ( yah I said it, sorry Mom but you were). Ugh, those days where I just wanted to scream at you and slam the door because I thought you were trying to make my life a living hell. I realized, eventually, how thankful I was for those moments. I’m so happy that you demanded more from me than I did myself. 

Mama lesson learned: TRY HARDER

When I did poorly on something my Mom would ask me in her very thick Jamaican accent “How hard did you try? Did you prepare yourself so that you could produce the best result? If you tell me yes, then I know you tried.”
Yep…I just wanted to yell at her because she was right (grrr)  and my poor performance was usually the result of being ill-prepared or really not being interested whatsoever. 
So now,  I work towards trying to be better on whatever job I take on. I learn something new after every project and I ask myself, what can I do better for my clients. I’ve noticed that there is always something to improve upon. Better isn’t about perfection, to me it's about allowing meaningful progress. Experience is a good teacher. 

Mama lesson learned: BE YOUR OWN CHEERLEADER

I actually learned this from a few of my "Mamas" - amazing women whom I love and admire a great deal. I'm grateful to have each of them in my world. They've provided amazing support,  love and pushed me to see my value in so many ways. 

You know that little voice that creeps up inside your head that says "babe, you've got this" or that moment ( visualize hands on your hips, legs apart, superwoman stance, cape blowing in the wind) YES THAT! Mama wants you to  hold on to that with all your might and believe in yourself like the champion you are. Yes, I have my moments when I'm dropping f-bombs (privately) because something is not vibing the way it should ( it's life). I take a breather and then work to see how I can kick the problems booty. Having my own back, keeps me accountable for my actions and inactions. It also let's me acknowledge that things will be okay because I've got my back.

Mama lesson learned: LOVE BIG OR GO HOME

When I visit my Mom, she has a menu laid out of all my favorite meals because as she puts it "baby, they don't feed you enough food in Idaho"...such a  Mom thing right!!! That's the best kind of loving, Mom's home cooking ( insert happy dance here and here). 

What does all this home cooking chatter mean?? If you're going to love, love fully. My Mom shows me her love in the biggest and best way she knows how by taking care of what fills me body and soul. I had to learn this love big thang the hard way a few times because loves great but sometimes it hurts bad, real bad.  So why love big Laura?? Well my awesome peeps, it made me appreciate how awesome it feels when this full love came my way. Not just from my hubby but from the people who care about me in the deepest way. It filters all the other mess out. It's amazing. Having that in my world allowed me to be grateful and appreciate what love means in the realest way. Loving big for me is a all-in commitment not naivety, understanding and being your loves sound board. It's hard, easy and everything in between but so worth it. 

I always thought I would get to this point where I would have this "stuff" figured out or least most of it. Nope, not the case for me. I'm learning all along the way with more clarity as I go. Mama does know best and she's trying to share it in her own way. Some of those lessons go over a bit smoother than others, some I learned in my own way. 

To quote my wonderful stepdaughter Maddie..."Moms are pretty awesome." I couldn't agree more :)

Hello curves, I love you!

One of my favorite pictures captured by Vlad of Radion Photography

My Mom was certainly a huge influence when it came to embracing oneself and being my own biggest cheerleader. This wasn't always an easy journey, in fact it was difficult most of the times. As I get older the idea of feeling comfortable in my own skin seems less and less foreign to me. I think it is a combination of life experiences,  hard knocks learning and well, growing up.  Style has allowed me to figure out what I love the most about myself, this positive mind frame then infiltrated other avenues of my life. This is a BIG part of why I love personal styling, I get the chance to show my clients what I love about them and the best way to show it off.

I don't wear fitted dresses. That was just something I had as part of my style repertoire. My peeps will tell you that I love drapey, boyfriendy...you know loose anything ;)  Times they are a changing and I no longer put "I won't" but more "how can I." In other words, "how can I wear a fitted dress that I like and still be me ?" I saw this fitted crew neck dress at H & M and loved the simplicity of it and the color. It really hugs the body but in a soft way. To make it "me" I layered this amazing lace jacket by For Love and Lemons from Piece Unique. This lace number was one of those "love at first sight" moment and oh the outfits!!! It's light and airy and the color reminds me of the golden tones in sunsets.

If you want to wear a fitted style focus on fabric, fit and function. The fabric should have some weight to it, which allows for a smoother fit along those curves. I prefer those with structure, stretch and a more streamlined style. The fit should hug your body not constrict. You should be able to move around and sit comfortably. I want you to be able to breath, okay :) If the fit is right, then the ability to function should fall into place. That means we can walk with ease the way our body was intended.

I use to feel it was necessary to constantly combat what I was naturally given, long limbs that I wasn't always certain what the hell to do with, curly wild hair that wasn't the norm around me and a boyish shape that made me feel less like a woman. I learned to appreciate my long limbs (can I grab that for you in the top cupboard? ;) I stopped straightening my curly mane and a few slight curves popped up ( not many) that made me appreciate the beauty of being a woman. The less you try to fit in, the better you fit with yourself. It's the coolest thing. I want you to do something for me. Everyday this week and the rest of next week...every morning that you wake up I want you to say something really nice about your body to yourself. I'm serious, this embracing your goodness thang starts with you and the mental conversation you have with yourself. Trust me it's going to blow your mind and the exhaustion of picking yourself a part will be gone. Hallelujah!

Share this with your best peeps and spread the love. The process is a journey and it's not as bad as you think.  I've got your back :)