My Afro

All photos by the talented Weston McGhee Photography

Growing up I wanted long, straight hair that gently played on my back when the breeze touched it. My mom refused to let me straighten my curly mane. I would sneak and have by friend Niqua press my hair with a hot comb. If you don't know what that is, it's a comb made of metal that you put on a gas burning stove to heat up. You allow it to cool a bit and then you proceed to burn the shit out of your hair just so that it can be straight. I know. F@$king crazy! I did that because the idea of leaving my hair as is was something I did not see around me. I saw women pressing, perming, blowout styling their hair to look other than what it was naturally meant to be. This is certainly not a bash on those who straighten their hair. I assure you, if i want to mix it up a bit I'll blow out my hair  because I'm a grown woman and I can do what I want ;) Ok, I digress. When we press, straighten or do anything different to alter ourselves, I want it to be built on a road where we are defining our own beauty. 

The thought that black, natural, curly, kinky, unprocessed, left to do what it does best, froed out hair was not reflected to me as beautiful. It's changing. We are seeing a diverse mix of women stepping forward and demanding to be reflected in the images blasted towards us. Why? Because WE EXIST to be seen and heard. So much is happening with how we as women see ourselves. WE are digging deeper towards the AS IS part of ourselves that others thought strange or not enough and allowing it to be seen, fully. It's a real conversation that has to be echoed in a time where filters and editing skews so much of we see as beautiful. What I see now in myself took years of adjusting, filtering and being around women who know how to love themselves. These REAL reflections are what our little girls will witness, giving then the opportunity to SEE that their beauty is right there, as they are, right now. Strange, complicated, knappy hair, unruly, smart, loud, bossy, quiet, driven, defiant, necessary, vulnerable...beautiful AS IS.

Big hair and breezy wear

My hair is curly, kinky and wild. It's delicate and strong. It reminds me that there is nothing more freeing than allowing what is most natural about myself to simply BE. I stopped straightening my hair because I had enough. Ugh, it seems so cliche but the real talk is that I got to this point where I noticed that I no longer felt the need to edit who I was, which included my mane. It wasn't an overnight or lightbulb moment but this progression of experiences that made me acknowledge that  "yah, I'm ok with me AS IS". For the most part, straightening my hair was an extension of figuring out the uncertainties about myself. I didn't really know what I wanted and it took getting through my f-ups, learning, listening, challenging myself and meeting good eggs along the way, you know...LIFE. The process is a journey. 

My hubby always asked me why I straightened my hair and would beg me to leave it natural. I thought he was crazy! Although I loved his support and encouragement, no one can make you act on those moments. They can influence but you're the one that's paving your path. As a black woman, the struggle to accept what is naturally you, especially when it comes to our hair is such a difficult journey. It's not the norm. I rarely see anyone with hair like mine but I also live in Boise, Idaho. I love that I was able to fuel who I am in a state where, let's be real, there's not many people of color.  What I experienced from those around me, strangers and friends, was this fantastic celebration of my natural hair. It really stunned me. People would come up to me and tell me how much they loved my curly hair. In my head, I was saying "really, you think my natural hair is pretty....who knew." It was as if I was able to experience acceptance of "me" moreso than I ever accepted myself.  

The more I dived into learning about my curly hair and how to care for it, I saw this common thread amongst so many women of different races and backgrounds who had a familiar story to share about untaming their mane. We hear the mantra that "you're free to be you" but we don't see it. So it takes these individual movements where each of us declare who we are, naturally. That's not to say I will never straighten my hair, I will when I feel like mixing it up. However, the decision is driven by me and not some cultural/ social demand. The relief of no longer having to protest why your "imperfections" are pretty darn perfect for you. It's an exclamation that normal is diverse, unique and feeds tolerance, its soul food. 

Laura, what about your outfit girllll?!! I know I got a bit deep on y'all so here are the yummy details. I love these breezy tops but they can look a little frumpy ( no thank you frump McGee). I look for styles that either gathers at the waist like this one or has an open neckline like this style (so cuteee, right!) I paired it with these boyfriend denim shorts that are a little more fitted as not to compete with the looser fit of the top. 

Top: Rebecca Taylor, Shorts: Rag and Bone ( Fancy Pants)    Shoes: Madewell

"What makes the desert beautiful is that somewhere it hides a well"  Antoine de Saint-Exupery

I want to hear from you!! What's your hair story? Share, comment and click on the little heart below (it's adorable). We can tackle this journey together :)